Hosting holiday gatherings when you have guests with autism or sensory processing disorder doesn’t mean sacrificing festivity. It means creating an environment where everyone can comfortably participate. With a few thoughtful adjustments to your home, you can transform potentially overwhelming celebrations into inclusive, joyful experiences.
Whether you’re hosting family members with sensory sensitivities or opening your home to friends navigating autism, these practical suggestions will help you create a welcoming space that honors everyone’s needs.
Create a Designated Quiet Space
The single most important accommodation you can offer is a quiet retreat space. This isn’t optional as it’s essential for sensory regulation. What makes an effective quiet space:
- A bedroom, office, or den away from the main gathering area
- Door that closes for privacy and sound reduction
- Dim lighting or lamp (not overhead fluorescents)
- Comfortable seating (couch, bean bag, or floor cushions)
- Minimal decorations and visual clutter
- Available sensory tools: weighted blanket, fidget toys, noise-canceling headphones
Communication is key: When guests arrive, immediately show them where the quiet space is located and explicitly give permission to use it anytime, no questions asked. Tell children and adults alike: “This room is here whenever you need a break. You don’t have to ask. Just go.”
Lighting: Less Flash, More Glow
Holiday lighting sets the mood, but flashing, twinkling, or overly bright lights can trigger sensory overload for autistic individuals. Sensory-friendly lighting strategies:
- Choose steady, warm-toned lights instead of blinking or color-changing strands
- Use lamps and string lights rather than harsh overhead fixtures
- Dimmer switches give you control to adjust brightness as needed
- LED candles provide ambiance without flame flicker or scent
- Keep one room completely minimally decorated for visual calm
If your gathering is during the day, natural light through windows is ideal. For evening events, aim for soft, indirect lighting that creates warmth without intensity.
Sound Management: Keep Volume Low
Holiday music, overlapping conversations, and kitchen noise create a constant sensory barrage that can be physically painful and incredibly overwhelming for people with auditory sensitivities. Creating a calmer sound environment:
- Play soft instrumental or classical holiday music. Skip high-energy, loud tracks
- Keep music low enough that conversation doesn’t require raised voices
- Turn off TVs and competing sound sources during the meal
- Warn guests in advance if you’re planning activities like singing or noisemakers
- Consider quiet activities during peak gathering times: cookie decorating, craft stations, or a holiday movie in the quiet room
Pro tip: If you’re hosting in a home with open floor plans, sound travels everywhere. Be extra mindful of volume since there’s nowhere to escape auditory input.
Scents and Smells: Go Light or Go Home
Strong holiday scents, such as cinnamon candles, pine trees, roasting meats, perfumes, can overwhelm people with smell sensitivities and trigger nausea or headaches. Scent-conscious hosting:
- Skip scented candles and air fresheners entirely if possible
- Use exhaust fans while cooking to vent strong smells outside
- Ask guests to avoid wearing heavy perfumes or colognes
- If you have a real Christmas tree, place it away from the main gathering space
- Open windows briefly before guests arrive to air out cooking smells (weather permitting in Indiana winters!)
Alternative ambiance: If you love candles for mood, use unscented versions or place them in rooms away from where sensory-sensitive guests will spend time.
Food: Offer Familiar Options Without Pressure
Holiday meals often feature rich, complex dishes with strong flavors and mixed textures, exactly what many autistic individuals find challenging. Menu planning for sensory success:
- Always include simple, familiar foods: plain dinner rolls, butter noodles, plain turkey or chicken, simple mashed potatoes
- Offer variety in textures: smooth, crunchy, soft options so everyone finds something comfortable
- Use separate serving dishes rather than casseroles where foods touch
- Label dishes clearly so guests know what they’re eating
- Never pressure anyone to try new foods. Holidays aren’t the time for palate expansion
Build-your-own stations work brilliantly: Cookie decorating, make-your-own hot chocolate bars, or deconstructed meals (taco bars, baked potato bars) let each person control what goes on their plate and how foods interact.
For guests with dietary restrictions: If you know someone follows a specific diet (gluten-free, casein-free, etc.), coordinate in advance but don’t expect them to rely entirely on your menu. Most autism families are accustomed to bringing safe foods and deeply appreciate hosts who welcome this without making it awkward.
Communicate Plans Ahead of Time
Uncertainty creates anxiety for autistic individuals. The more your guests know beforehand, the more comfortable they’ll feel. Before the gathering, share:
- Start and end times (and genuinely mean the end time. Don’t pressure anyone to stay longer)
- Who will be attending and approximate number of people
- What activities are planned and their timing
- Menu highlights so families can plan accordingly
- Dress code expectations and explicitly state if comfortable clothing is fine
If you’re in a neighborhood with exterior holiday light displays or expect doorbell activity (carolers, delivery drivers), mention this so families can prepare.
Give Permission to Leave Early
Perhaps the most generous thing you can offer sensory-sensitive guests is genuine, pressure-free permission to leave whenever they need to. Make it clear before and during the gathering: “If you need to leave early, please do. No explanations needed. We’re just happy you came.”
This single statement removes enormous pressure and often paradoxically helps people stay longer because they know escape is always an option.
Small Changes, Big Impact
Creating a sensory-friendly holiday gathering doesn’t require elaborate accommodations or expensive modifications. It simply requires awareness, advanced communication, and a willingness to prioritize comfort over perfection.
Your home can absolutely be both festive and sensory-safe. The family with autism who attends your thoughtfully planned gathering won’t just appreciate the accommodations. They’ll remember that you made space for them exactly as they are.
Creating inclusive holiday traditions starts with understanding, and you’ve already taken the first step by seeking information on how to host with care.
